Bob Barker hurt my toe...

For those of you who know me well, you know that some things that happen to me fall under the "Only Maria" category. In the past, I have fallen off my high heel shoes, accidentally forgot to put my car into park so it wrecked into a Bruegger's Bagel Shop, had been "feathered" by a random person at Venice Beach and a myriad of other random things. Why do these things happen to me? I don't know exactly. Sometimes I believe that God uses me as a comedy prop for all of you. However, today was one of those days.


As you all know, Saturday is my big training day, where I have 100 people coming in from all over to learn what it takes to be a bus coordinator for GOTB. I am in charge of organizing every aspect of this event. To say the least, sleep is something that I haven't seen much of for the past two weeks. I am constantly waking up in the middle of the night hopping on my computer to send myself reminders about what I need to do the next morning. In this sleepless fog, my training has also been suffering a bit. Since I am working constantly, it is hard for me to slip away to hit the pavement. However, today I made a pact with myself that no matter what I would go.

I woke up this morning all ready for my run and did one of my normal routes. It was sunny and nice outside, people were out walking their dogs, and I was minding my business until out of the corner of my eye I saw Bob Barker and his dog walking toward me. Now, this was not the first time that Bob and I have crossed paths. You see another "Only Maria" type of occurrence is that I don't happen to see lots of celebrities, but when I do, I always see them again. Some people in LA have matching dogs, I see the same celebrity twice. If you don't believe me, read my blog entry about Sly Stallone. Other notable people to add to this list include Tom Greene, Dr. Drew, and Eddie Steeples.

My last occurrence with Bob Barker and his dog was right around the same spot and I yelled, "Have your pet spayed or neutered." His response was to smile at me, but deep down inside he probably thought I was a little wacky. I was sure this time was going to be different. This time I was determined to have a conversation with him. So as I ran toward him trying to fix my hair so I would look okay (as his measure of beauty is the chicks on the Price Is Right), he did something that I wasn't expecting: He talked to me first. With a big smile, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "Good Morning." I responded back with a "Good Morning to you too." Now, I was reveling in this moment thinking that our conversation was over.  As I had barely passed him and he then lets out a, "How are you doing?" Well, who can't answer that? Looking back, not paying attention to what my feet were doing, I said, "Great." With that, I lost my footing and my left big toe cracked. By this time, Bob was gone, but the pain was not.

I ended up stopping and walking home. My pain was intense for the first couple of blocks, but now it is just hurting when I contract it. I am going to try to squeeze in a visit to the podiatrist today if all possible. I think it is nothing, but if it is something I need to get it fixed so I can be all better for the marathon. Bob, if you are reading this, next time let me know that you actually want have a conversation with me we'll do lunch, my treat!! There is no need to go hurting my toes before the marathon.

A day of celebration...

Gigi was a battered woman. She was physically abused and beaten by her husband in the late '70's only to leave him and get an offer to move in with a "friend" who later began to sexually abuse and rape her against her will. While living with her roommate she also entered into a romantic relationship that was just as abusive as the relationship with her first husband. She was even hospitalized a few times because of all the abuse. One night after receiving a powerful beating from her boyfriend, she came back to her apartment with all the fresh wounds on her body. She was then attacked by her roommate and she pleaded with him to stop and he didn't so she acted out of self defense and shot him.

This sounds like a scene right from a Lifetime movie special right? The next scene should be that Gigi was eradicated from all the violence, was removed and put into a safe haven, and she meets a man that treats her right and lives happily ever after. However, Gigi's ending...a 15 year to life prison sentence for second degree murder and one year enhancement because the crime involved a gun. She was advised to take this plea bargain being told by her lawyer that she would most likely be out after 10 years. She had no prior arrests, no record of any crimes, or violence and in fact, she had never even fired a gun until the day she killed her abuser point blank. (Remember, this was in 1980 when there were no self defense laws in place. The Battered Woman Syndrome Law came into place in 1992 as a result of the Nicole Brown Simpson case. Every woman prior to that was convicted of murder.)

When she got to prison in 1980 at 22 years old, she had no idea what to expect. She remembers on the bus ride there being incredibly scared. She was afraid of what the other people in the prison would be. How would they treat her? How was she going to adjust?
When she got there, surprisingly it was a lot different than she had ever expected. "CIW was a lot like a college campus. The women were very kind and accepting of me. During the day, people were taking classes, going to groups and working. It was nothing like I had expected," Gigi commented.

Inside of prison, Gigi did a lot to make the most of her situation. She got her GED, completed a Cosmetology program, and got a certification for Office Services (proof reading, computer programming, and dictation). She went to Chaffey Community College and took General Education courses. She became state certified as a HIV and Infectious Disease Peer Educator. She also was the Chairperson for AA/NA, the biggest organization inside of the prison and the Chairperson for the African American Women Prisoner Association (AAWPA).

When she went up to her first Parole Board review about 3 years into her sentence, they told her that she was doing everything that she needed to do and she was very likely to get out pending her first hearing, which was scheduled for 10 years and 8 months. She just had to keep the stellar record that she had, which she did.

When she went up before the Parole Board for her first hearing to see if they found her suitable for parole in 1989, she was nervous but incredibly excited about the possibility of getting out....that is until the Commissioners opened their mouths. "They use harsh language to try to set you up to break. They can then use that a reason to not parole you," Gigi said. "I'll never forget the one Commissioner who said, ' I know every night before you go to bed, you pray that your daughter doesn't turn out to be like you.'' This was especially hurtful to Gigi because she maintained a very positive relationship with her daughter. Even while in prison, her daughter would visit her every other week. She jokes, "I used to see my daughter more when I was in prison then now because she lives all the way in Reno."

The hearing was intense and it lasted between 4-6 hours. There were three Commissioners: the first questioned her life and family before she went to prison, the second questioned the nature of her crime and the third evaluated what she has done since you've been in prison and her parole plans. She was confident about everything except for her crime because unfortunately, she couldn't change it. She had no priors, good family relationships, had 4 places to live, and had 2 job offers and 10-12 letters of support. As the trial unfolded, her emotions turned from hope into despair. After a 5 minute recess and deliberation, the Commissioner came back and told her that they didn't find her suitable for parole as they felt she was a danger to society. She was not able to respond. She just sat hopeless. She was told to come back in 2 years.

She came back 2 years later and it was the same story. She came back then for 12 more hearings and no luck until 2000. In 2000, she came back for a very intense hearing and she was sure they were going to say no. After a 45 minute deliberation, the Commissioner told her that they have found her suitable for parole. She then was reviewed by another Board, which actively investigated her parole plans and they found her suitable. In the state of California, every case must be signed by the Governor. This was the final step. Her paperwork was given to Davis and he decided to overturn the decision. He said that because of her past social history of being in two other abusive relationships, she should have learned from her mistakes and not put herself in a compromising situation.

In 2002, she came back again, this time to a split decision: One Commissioner said she was found suitable, the other said no. The decision went to the main Board, who 2 years back found her suitable and they denied her agreeing with the Governor’s reasoning.

She went back in 2003 this time to be found unsuitable for parole because of her crime. She questioned them saying that it was impossible to change her crime. She met a couple of law professors from USC who agreed that she had a case. They agreed to file a writ, a legal appeal to the Board on her behalf. In preparing for her next hearing, she learned that they never did it.

In 2004 she had the worst hearing in her life. The only positive thing that happened was in the DA's closing argument; she said that there was no reason to not let her out. She was not a danger to society, she had no prior record, she was a battered woman who killed her abuser and had a stellar record. She went to USC and then asked them to file a writ on her behalf again against the Parole Board and they said it was a waste of time.

So, she took matters into her own hands and by doing research in the law library and with the help of a manual typewriter, she wrote her own writ. It was 200 pages when she sent it out. She submitted it in 2005, 30 days later the Superior Court denied it, then she resubmitted it to the Court of Appeals with a rebuttal and it was denied, then she submitted to the California Supreme Court. "I mailed it in a box it was so big and I had to include a copy for each of the 7 Justices," she said. Eleven months later, she got the news that it was informally granted. However, the Attorney General wrote a rebuttal saying that she was not suitable so she responded back within the 10 day limit saying why she was. The decision split 5-2 in her favor and she was set for a court date within 60 days. She was also appointed an attorney as the courts would no longer represent herself.

On the day of her court, the prison was on lockdown because of the flu so she wasn't able to attend. She waited until the trail was over and received a call from her attorney that she had won! However, she knew that it needed to be reviewed by Schwarzenegger and signed so she didn't get too excited. The governor denied her and she decided to fight it and she won in the lower courts. She found out on Thursday, January 22, 2009 and 4 days later on Monday, January 26, 2009 (1 year ago exactly), she was a free woman! She served a total of 29 years.

Gigi has worked for CRJW and Get On The Bus for the past year. She has been a stellar employee, never late for work even though she commutes 2 hours on a train everyday, always goes way over and above and does it with a kind heart. In celebration of her anniversary, I decided to interview her:

Maria: What types of things have changed from before you went to prison until now?

Gigi: Everything. When I went in there were no freeways. I came out and there were little cities and malls everywhere.

Maria: What has struck you most over the past year?

Gigi: Color. In prison, you only see blue, which is the color we wear and grey the color of the guards’ uniforms. I love wearing everything that I couldn't red, green, beige and anything bright.

Maria: How did having a relationship with your daughter help you?

Gigi: It made it a lot easier for me when I got out because we had a relationship already established. I was also very well adjusted in the prison because of it. Most of the women around me didn't get visits. I saw what a harder time they had so I was grateful.

Maria: What do you want to my readers to know about women in prison?

Gigi: We are human. For the most part, there aren't a lot of violent women in prison. We are normal people that made one mistake. Even though mistakes were made, they don't define who we are.

Maria: What are the best things that you've done since you've been out?

Gigi: Eat. The food is so much better. I also just love enjoying the beauty of nature. I love going to the mountains, amusement parks and the movies. I also love spending my holidays feeding the homeless. It is something that I used to watch on TV. while I was in prison and now it's something that I get to do. I love sharing my resources with others. Last night while waiting for the train a woman, a guy and a dog asked me to spare some change because they were hungry. I gave them 5 dollars; you would have thought I gave them 100! I love doing things like this because I was never able to.

Maria: Why is GOTB important?

Gigi: Mothers need to be connected to their children. No matter what a parent has done, a child should not suffer.

Maria: You are volunteering as a bus coordinator this year, what led you to this decision?

Gigi: It is so important for me to be able to go back and show the women inside that people do care. I never forget the women I left behind. It is such a worthwhile program.

I would like to congratulate Gigi on her special day. I would also like to honor another special woman, my grandma Helen Costanzo. Today is her 88th birthday. Grandma, you have been one of the most important people in my life and I know that you can't choose your family, but even if I could, I would definitely choose you. Happy 88th Birthday!!!!

Reunited after 30 years...

As some of you know, Get On The Bus has received the parent applications and right now we are busy processing them and getting them ready for our training next Saturday. My assistant Jennifer is the lead on this task and I always knew she was special (in a good way), but now I know for sure she is a gem. Part of her process is to go through each application and validate that there is contact information on the applications and that the families live in the state of CA, as of right now GOTB only serves families inside of CA. If she comes across any applications that don't meet this criteria, she is to put them aside and we ship them back to the prisons.

However, last week Jennifer walked into my office with an application from a man from CTF. His daughter had lived in Atlanta, GA. She asked me to please take a look at this application and then to advise her what to do after that. Initially, I thought to myself, "How am I going to have time for this? Clearly, this is a family that lives out of state that we won't be able to serve. I have to spend time concentrating on the 1,000's of in state applications." However, since I trust Jennifer's judgement, I kept the application on my desk.

Yesterday, I decided to pick it up. Attached to the application was a well written typed letter that answered all my questions. The man explained that he knew the GOTB busses only ran within the state of CA and that he knew that his daughter would need to come to CA to ride the bus. He also said that he already had a conversation with her and she was willing to cover her own expense to get to the bus stop. He pleaded in his letter for his daughter to be on the bus and attached three additional sheets to explain why. The first was a letter from his daughter dated October 26, 2009, the second a poem that his daughter had wrote, the third a photo and bio of himself explaining why he was a worthy GOTB candidate.

Upon reading through the documents, I learned that he and his daughter Genisse had not seen each other for 30 years! They had both been searching for years for one another, but with Genisse living clear across the country and her not being in contact with any members of his family, they had no luck. However, when Genisse joined Facebook late last year this all changed. His brother was able to search for her and send her a message and then she replied back and the rest is history in the making.

In his letter, he described how much alike he and his daughter are and how much they have "grown along the same path over the years". He told me how special it would be to have their first meeting be on Father's Day through the Get On The Bus program. I now couldn't resist. This woman had to be on the bus.

I remember yesterday picking up the phone and thinking, "What if this number doesn't work? What if she doesn't know about this or really want to go? What if she feels that it is too soon for them to meet?" However, I put all of these doubts aside and I dialed the number. On about the second ring Genisse answered, I explained to her who I was and asked her if she had heard about the program and she said that she did and that she was hoping that I would call. As we started talking, I was emotionally moved by the conversation so much so that I asked Genisse if we could continue it. So, at 5 am this morning, I interviewed Genisse. Here is what she had to say:

Maria: How did you end up finding your father?

Genisse: I had been searching for years and years and nothing. I recently went on Facebook and received a message from a man with my same last name. This struck me as ironic because I don't know anyone with my last name. I originally thought it was an error on Facebook's part so I ignored the message for a couple days. When I opened it, it read, "If you are 30 years old and your parents are X and Y, then I am your uncle. If you want to contact your family, please message me." When my uncle and I first talked, he read me a letter that my father and wrote. I thought to myself as he was reading it, this sounds exactly like me. It was like listening to something that I wrote.

Maria: How long ago was that?

Genisse: It was back in the fall.

Maria: How did you and your father get into contact?

Genisse: My uncle ended up giving me my father's address and I wrote him, but I didn't put a return address on the letter because I wanted it to be a surprise. He sure was surprised. With the letter, I enclosed my photo and he said the officer that handed him the letter resembled me.

Maria: How often do the two of you talk?

Genisse: We don't talk on the phone, we just write letters about once a week.

Maria: Why did you want to find your dad and why after all these years didn't you just give up?

Genisse: I am a person who values strong family ties and likes to stay connected. It would only be natural to include my father in on the process.

Maria: What was your image of your dad growing up?

Genisse: I really didn't have one. My mom always told me that he was a good person and a very intelligent man. She didn't have anything against him. I had no photos of him. My mom always used to say that I had a lot of his ways and that we looked alike.

Maria: What is your image of who he is now?

Genisse: A loving, caring father who has been searching for years and years for me and is finally happy that we made this connection. He is intelligent and in tune with things that are going on in the outside world. I send him a letter and before he gets it, he knows what it is in it! A man who I've heard from his family has inspired a lot of people to do better and greater things. He is a big advocate of education and mending relationships when broken. He is a man who never stopped looking for me even after 30 years. I can't wait to meet him!!!

Maria: What do the two of you have in common?

Genisse: (Chuckling) A lot of things! We both love to write. We both like tigers, they are our favorite cats. Both of us have similar interest in education, family values and spirituality. There are so many it would take forever to tell. We are like two peas in a pod!

Maria: Did you know where your father was growing up?

Genisse: I knew bits and pieces. I knew he was in California and that was about all.

Maria: When was the last time the two of you spent together?

Genisse: When I was 2 months old.

Maria: Why are you choosing to Get On The Bus this year?

Genisse: There are many reasons. I have no clue about CA territory. I don't want to be driving around and getting lost everywhere. I also know it is a special day. Being that it is Father's Day that is a huge plus. He is the one that originally told me about the program. He said it is a more comfortable environment than on a regular visiting day. Also, learning about all the perks with the food and the photos, it even sounded better!

Maria: How do you feel about seeing your dad after all these years?

Genisse: It's been 30 years- I’m full of excitement, I can't wait, I am truly happy and a little anxious.

Maria: What were you thinking when I called you yesterday?

Genisse: When I saw the number, I thought it was a bill collector so I was hesitant to answer it. However, when I found out it was you; I was so appreciative that you called me.

Maria: What do you expect to achieve from your visit?

Genisse: Finally making a lifelong connection. Finally making contact. I want to see for myself who he is and what he is about. GOTB will be the first of many interactions.

Maria: Is there anything you want to tell him?

Genisse: Not sure, I am just anticipating our initial reaction.

Maria: Overall, what do you want the public (my readers) to know about children who have incarcerated parents?

Genisse: Regardless of the situation as long as it is not dangerous and it is not going to put the child in a compromising situation, a child should know his/her parent. We never knew what really happened to them.

Maria: Can I publish the poem that you sent to your father on my blog?

Genisse: Yes, just so you put the copyright. I have an interesting story about the poem. One of the things that we found shocking was that both of us have a passion for writing. My dad is a published author and I sent this poem to him hand written and told him that I never published any of my work. He ended up sending it back to me typed, copyrighted, printed and published. This was his gift to me.

Changing Times

By: Genisse

Changing Times

Require A New State of Mind

In Order To Grow And Climb

You Have To Rise Above The Norm

Don't Even Consider The Want To Conform

It's About Joining The Fight

To Achieve Greater Heights

Constantly Learning

And Definitely Improving

The Paths And Waves

Of Thoughts In Our Brains

It's About Reaching Goals Of Success

And Having Consistent Progress

In The Use Of Your Full Potential

To Make Your Work Substantial

And Being The Best You Can Be

To Create Your Own Reality

Copyright @ 2009 Genisse LaRue

Thank you once again to all of you who supported me in my journey. Special thanks to Joe's parents Tom and Alice Palmer for your donation.

Chaos brings clarity!

You know the feeling that you have when you planned everything as much as you possibly could and everything goes opposite of what you had expected? The feeling of crazymaking that comes when everyone seems to be doing their own thing and nothing seems to be flowing together? The feeling of being run down with total disorganization? The feeling of utter chaos?

I know this feeling a little too well. I have to admit I hate chaos. The word itself just makes me a little anxious. Every time I am planning a big event, like my 100 person bus coordinator training next Saturday, I hope and pray that chaos stays away. However, one thing is true about chaos and that is that it has happened and it will continue to happen. It is up to us to determine how we are going to deal with it when its unpredictable head decides to surface.

It took me a while to learn this lesson. I used to judge my performance based on how well everything went detail by detail even if the details were outside of my control. If I was doing a presentation to a large group, did it start and end on time? Did anyone's phone go off during it? Was there an impromptu fire drill? If I answered yes to any of these questions, I left in defeat. Thinking like this, I became aware that I was disappointed almost always, which is no way to lead your life.

So when did I turn over my new leaf? It has been a gradual change, but working for Get On The Bus has fast tracked this. You see, when you work inside a dysfunctional system, it breeds chaos. I remember last year I was heading out to go to California Institute for Women CIW in Corona, CA to meet with all of our potential mothers who were signed up for our program. My agenda was simple: I was to go in introduce myself, give a little background on the program, give the program details to the moms as no one at the prison will tell them anything, have the women share in a small circle with one of our GOTB volunteers about what made them sign up, answer a couple of questions and play our DVD. I had envisioned this going so smoothly that in my mind I actually got a standing ovation at the end!

When I arrived at the prison, I was greeted and told that they forgot to tell the women about the meeting. It was now 10 minutes before it was supposed to start and no one was in the auditorium except for me and a few of my volunteers (the vast majority didn't show up). I had also asked the prison to do the seating by region where the women's families lived, well that never happened. So just as Karen and I were trying to arrange chairs and organize our volunteers (about 10 minutes after the meeting was scheduled to start), women started pouring in. We tried our best to arrange everyone how we had envisioned them but the combination of a lack of volunteers, disorganization with the seating and people just going in every direction definitely put a damper on things.

To make matters worse, now I had a line out the door of people who wanted to see me. Since this is the only time the moms get to see their kids each year, every person wanted confirmation that I had their family's info and that the kids were coming. I told every woman that there would be time at the end for me to meet with them and asked them to sit down so we could get started as we were now almost 30 minutes late in doing so. Most of the women complied; however, there was one woman who kept coming up to talk with me. After about the third time, frustrated as anything, I said, "What can I help you with?"

She then handed me a medical ducat and explained to me that she had to leave early because she was receiving treatments for ovarian cancer. She told me that the doctors gave her only 6 months to live (at the time GOTB was about 2 months away). She said that her children lived in the Bay Area and this would be the last opportunity she would get to spend time with them. In tears, she told me how important it would be for her to be able to tell her children how much she loved them and give them one more hug and kiss. She pleaded with me and said that this was her last wish and asked me if I may be able to help her?

It was at this second that I totally forgot about all the chaos around me. We both started to cry and I reached out and hugged her, which is something that you aren't allowed to do in the prison. However, at that moment, I didn't care. I stopped seeing this presentation as a personal show for me and started to see it as a conversation with others. A conversation that this woman needed so much. I started to get clarity on my purpose and learned that if nothing else, I was able to make a difference for one person and one family today.

With my new attitude, the rest of the presentation flowed with ease. I can't tell you what we talked about or how closely we stuck to the agenda; however, I can tell you that everyone in that room experienced something much more powerful than information overload. Everyone got a chance to experience someone else's humanity. There was no dry eye in the room and at the end, I got the standing ovation that I was hoping, it just happened inside my heart.

I am happy to say that this woman did receive her wish. All four of her children got to fly down to CIW and she got the visit that she was hoping for. Again, I wanted to thank all of you for your support. In just two weeks, we will be underway with a new GOTB year and Joe will receive all of his family applications. In addition to your generous giving, Joe will also be in need of some volunteers. Please read the blurb on the right side of this page to find out how you can help.  There are options for locals as well as for those of you who live far away.  I will leave you with this thought...Walter Cronkite was a huge Grateful Dead fan and right before he died, he had been taking drumming lessons from their drummer Mickey Hart. He posed a question to Mickey one day asking, "How will I know if I am doing it right?" Mickey's answer was simple, "You just keep doing it and doing it and then you will start to feel it and start to be it." This is what GOTB has been for me and this is what it could be for you. I challenge you all to make a difference.  In the words of Jerry Maguire, "Who's coming with me?"

100 miles logged!!

This one goes out to all my runners, no matter who you are and where you are.
100 Miles is the distance from Midtown Manhattan to Scranton, PA. 100 Miles is the distance between Pittsburgh and Erie, PA. 100 Miles is the distance between Los Angeles and San Diego, CA. 100 Miles is also coincidentally the amount of mileage that I have logged in my training as of today! I can't believe in just 2 short months I am already here! Whoa!

100 is a pretty significant number in the world. It is the percentage that everyone is always striving to be at. It is also the measuring stick for how a new President is doing in office. As some of you may remember, the news media was all over the 100th day that President Obama took office and they used it to evaluate his performance and speculate on how they thought he would perform in the future. It is in this spirit that I have decided to do a self evaluation of my 100 miles of running. Hope you enjoy!

Training: A-

Positives: I would say overall my training is going extremely well. With Sly Stallone as my trainer, how can I complain? ;p. Overall, I am happy with the mileage I am doing and I love my running partner Leanne! I also have no significant injuries as of yet (knock on wood). I am also right on track to where I should be at this point.

Challenges: Working fulltime and training for the marathon is a bit more challenging than I had expected. My short runs during the week work out very well. However, the long runs on the weekend take out a major portion of my day. We end up driving to Santa Monica, which is 30 minutes away, then we run 2-3 hrs and then drive back. By the time I get home, I am not only wiped, but the soreness in my body causes me to not want to do much for the rest of the day.

Motivation: A-

Positives: The GOTB kids are a huge motivation for me. Whenever my runs get tough, I think of them and I am able to pull through. Having a running partner is also a big motivation as we hold each other accountable for running. I also have to admit getting my PR in the half last weekend was also a huge motivator. Lastly, this blog is also a huge motivator for me because I don't want to let you all down so you push me too!

Challenges: Since I have to get up pretty early in order to do my runs and this is the busiest month of the year for me at work, I am always tempted to press snooze. I have to admit because Leanne was sick this past week, a couple of times I did ;p.

Diet Self Control: D+

Positives: Running as much as I do, I don't really need to worry too much about how much and what I am consuming. I also need more calories to physically keep going.

Challenges: I am Italian, nuf said? I like food and the more I run, the hungrier I get. I also make commendations for myself justifying that it is okay for me to eat unhealthy because I am running to equalize it. It also doesn't help that I am so busy with work that sometimes I grab the quickest option which is not necessarily the healthiest. I am going to try to work more on this especially because Leanne is so disciplined in this field. (She has been doing the Paleo diet, otherwise known as the Caveman diet for the past month).

Speed: A-

Positives: Surprisingly, the Galloway Method (5 min run, 1 min walk combo) is improving my time significantly. My body also is able to recover much quicker. My time last weekend at the half was also incredible and if I keep at that pace I will finish a full in 4:18, which is significantly under my goal of 4:30.

Challenges: I am no Speedy Gonzalez. For some speed comes naturally, for me, not so much. In gym class as a young child, I was always slow and I continue to struggle with this. I also need to start doing some speed workouts. I think I subconsciously avoid them!

Cross-Training: B-

Positives: We have a great hiking trail about 1 mile away and one my running off days, I take Maya. It is a great hill work out.

Challenges: Since I don't have a lot of extra time and the extra time I do have is spent running, it doesn't leave any time for cross-training. I also don't belong to a gym, which would give me access to weights and other classes. I am going to make a conscious effort to try to improve here.

Everyone can track my progress and my workouts at http://www.mapmyrun.com/user/396126015322033003/primariri or you can click on the Map My Run Link on the right side of this page.

Thanks everyone for all of your continued support.  Many of you have asked me if it is too late to donate and it isn't.  D-2 can accept donations until June. I especially want to send a special thank you to Joe's grandma, Rebecca Kraus and my friend and our wedding DJ Chuck Clump for your donations.

You gotta take a little in order to give a lot...

Dealing with the prison system day in and day out is much like running a marathon: it is dysfunctional and therefore breeds in illogical thought, it can mess with your mind, and can house a lot of pain. This is why it is not surprising that part of my daily job comprises of taking a lot of angry calls. My favorite calls consist of ones where someone will call me up and just start screaming at me before even exploring what may have happened to cause their upset. The calls that take the cake are the ones where someone will be fuming mad at me for something someone else did. (I actually got one of these yesterday). It went a little something like this:
Me: Hello, it's Maria.
Person: HI.
Me: How are you today?
Person: (in fury) I've been better. Let me ask you a question...why did Person X do Thing Y?
Me: I am not Person X, but it seems that every step was taken on our part in order to prevent Person X from doing Thing Y, such as.... so it seems that Person X had to do Thing Y as a last resort.
Person: Well, this is not appropriate and I'm upset at you because of it.

Welcome to my world. In any other job, this would make me and anyone else reconsider why it is worth it. However, I know that the system itself changes the mindset of those who are in it. Just take Zimbardo's 1971 Stanford prison experiment in which students on summer break played roles as guards or prisoners in a mock prison in the basement of a building on the university's campus in Northern California. The pretend guards grew so sadistic and the prisoners so cowed that the experiment was halted prematurely out of concern for the students. "The Stanford prison experiment shows the power of institutions to change behavior. We took good apples and put them in a bad situation," Zimbardo commented.

Because of this, I am going to give Person a break because it seems that working for the system has changed Person in ways beyond Person's awareness and control. However, every time I get a call like this, it centers me more and I can't help but think of the children that this is affecting. I have often heard and read that many people (especially those who work within the prison walls) see the children as an extension of the parents’ mistakes. One of our toughest critics a retired prison guard who now has his own blog describes Get On The Bus as "a tour for youth to see which prison they will want to end up in in the future." These words do not surprise me; however, they do in fact sadden me. Are we as a society ready to just give up on our future generation?

In the U.S., we already incarcerated more people than any other nation on the planet. A recent study done this year found that 1 in 33 people in the U.S. are in prison. To put this into perspective, in a grade school classroom that is 1 or 2 children per class and by the time these children turn 18 at the rate we are going it will probably be 4 or 5. Scary, huh? I can't tell you how many times I go out and do a presentation about Get On The Bus to a church, school, company and people come up to me and say my (brother, cousin, mother, father, uncle, you name it) was in prison and I've never told anyone. I was afraid of what people would think of me.

Knowing this, imagine what the kids are thinking. Kids are already being teased for wearing the wrong clothes or buying the wrong backpack, but having a parent incarcerated, whew. On top of that, the children do not have access to talk with their parents and the prison system makes visiting in a comfortable atmosphere virtually impossible.

This is why Get On The Bus is so necessary. It is the only time all year that most of the children get to see their parents. The visit is centered for the children. The kids are treated like VIPs all day and they get to participate in fun activities with their parents, they get all kinds of goodies like coloring books and crayons and other things to do on the way up to the trip, special meals for the day, a photo with their parent for them to keep, a teddy bear and a letter from their parent and stationary and stamps so they can keep in touch throughout the year. This is what your donations will go to support. Thank you for making a difference in the life of a child who needs it.

Oh, Oh I'm half way there!

So, I don't know about you, but I always dread the coming of January.  Before the holidays, January is my favorite scapegoat.  It always seems so far in the future so it is nothing for me to say, let's do X in January.  Very quickly X turns into X, Y, Z, A, B, C, etc.  To further flaw my logic, it also doesn't help that before I go home for the holidays all my colleagues and friends say, "See you next year."  Even though it happens every year, I see the phrase, "see you next year" as a very long time from the present moment.  When in reality, it is only about 2 weeks away. 

Knowing this, when my dear employee and friend Karen suggested that I run the half marathon that she was coordinating in January, I was all over it.  Even though at the time we were in November and I hadn't trained for any races in over a year, January was doable because it was in the far distant future, or at least so I thought.  Now if it was any other month in the year, I guarantee I would have written down the date for this thing.  However, since it was in January, I felt no urgency in the matter. 

When I got back from being home, I ran my inaugural 10 mile run for 2010.  During the run, I started thinking about all the stuff I had postponed until this month. This prompted me to call Karen this past Monday morning to check in and see when the half marathon was.  You can imagine the shocked feeling on the phone for both parties when she said that it was in 6 days.  She couldn't believe that I forgot about it and I couldn't believe that something in January was actually coming to fruition.  Crap, I now had 6 days to get ready for this thing and I was only up to 10 miles for my longest run.  So, what did I do?  Exactly what I am best at, I winged it.

Comparing this run to my last half, I knew the odds were stacked against me.  One, I hadn't trained as hard as before.  Two, I was battling a slight tendon injury on my left ankle and a cramped arch on my right foot.  Three, I had just gotten a new Camelback for Christmas that I forgot to try out until today.  Four, I was missing my secret ingredient, my running partner Leanne.  When anyone asked me how I expected to do today, my response was that I would be happy to finish alive and if I came in 20 minutes after my PR (personal record) from last year of 2 hrs. 13 min. and some change, I would be pleased. 

When I started the race this morning, I lined up with the 2 hrs. 10 min. group believing full well that this ways just a distant dream.  Whenmy first mile clocked as 11:30, it further strengthened my argument that this was going to be a wash.  However, the craziest thing happened around mile 4, I started to lose time.  At first I thought that the 39:30 was a mistake, but as I continued on my split times kept on improving.  I did notice though that there was a significant grade that we were running down so I really believed this was going to be short-lived.  It wasn't until after I turned around and ran up the long hill and got to mile 11 that I had actually started to believe that this course could be a new PR for me.  As I approached the finish line, it became a reality for me.  Not only did I finish with a PR, but I was under 2 hrs. and 10 mins!  I ended up finishing in 2 hrs., 9 min. and 6 sec., which sets my splits to sub 10 min miles.  Amazing!

The success felt even better since I had others to share it with.  Joe and Maya got to see me 6 or 7 times throughout the course and I was greeted just past the finish line by my dear friends and colleagues Gigi and Karen.  If you are curious, I have attached the race website so you can check out my course  http://www.131marathon.com/13_1_Los_Angeles.htm.  Below are some photos from the race.  Enjoy!!

Start line, I am on the right.

Me in action.

Who wears gloves to run the half? This guy does.

Loving this hill!

11 miles, when I realized that this could be my PR.

Okay this hill really needed to end.

Finish line.  Whao!

Gigi's first race ever.  She was so proud of me!

Two women who changed my life.

                                            

Writing this blog has been such a wonderful experience thus far and it has really caused me to go deeper. Knowing that I have to come up with something new to write every few days, I am brainstorming all the time.  Through this I am also asking myself questions about "the why?". Why am I here? Why am I doing what I am doing? What is my purpose in life and who has brought me here?  I don't have the answers to all of these questions yet.  However, for today's purpose, I want to look at two people who have helped to mold me into the person that I am today:  Rev. Carol Anderson (pictured on left) and Sr. Suzanne Jabro (pictured on right).

Carol and Suzanne, at first glance, couldn't be more different.  Carol is an Epsicopal reverend, who grew up in upstate New York as an only child.  From the palpit, she has described her family as loving and quiet.  Suzanne is a Catholic nun, who grew up in Los Angeles in a large Lebanese family.  She was the only girl out of 5 children.  She describes herself as a tomboy and often time says that there was never a dull moment in her house. 
 
Personality wise, they also vary.  Carol is a woman of careful word choice, not because she doesn't want to offend, but because she wants to use the least words possible to get her point across.  When she delivers a sermon, she crafts exactly what she wants to say and delivers it with 100% certainty in a matter-a-fact nature.  She doesn't sugar coat anything.  She not only knows to be true what she says, but she makes certain that you will know it to be true by the time she is done.  She has even used divine intervention to convert some LA Dodgers fans into NY Yankees fans by saying that the Yankees will bring you closer to God ;p. 
 
Suzanne however, has a different style.  Having the pleasure of knowing her now for 6 years, it is her presence that draws you in.  She is bubbly, gregarious and never at a loss for something to say.  Nothing about her is quiet.  For those of you who know my father, Joe C., she is a female version of him.  Everyone at work is greeted in the morning when she walks through the door with a "Hello, my love!"  You also never have to ask if Suzanne is in the office because if you don't hear her, you know that she isn't there.  She also has a passion about her work that can not be tested, if you don't believe me ask Sacramento.  As soon as she learns about something that is injust, she is on the phone using the greatest gift God gave her: vocal chords.
 
So, now we are at the point, where you are saying okay I get why they are different, but how do they come together?  Great question.  Here is the answer:
 
When I first moved to California 6 and a half years ago, Joe and I were in search of a church.  Being from Pittsburgh, my idea of a church was Dolores Mission, a church fashioned by Fr. Greg Boyle that serves the troubled community surrounding it.  However, when Joe told me that we were going to try out a church in Beverly Hills that his family minister recommended, I almost gauged.  Church in Beverly Hills, really?  Here is what I knew to be true about Beverly Hills:
1. Wyonna Ryder had just been picked up for shop lifting at the Sac's 5th Ave.
2.  Pretty Women was filmed at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel.
3.  I ate a slice of pizza that costs me $6 dollars, which you couldn't have paid me a million dollars to eat if I was in NY.
 
Because of the above reasons, I was adamant that God lived lots of places, but Beverly Hills was NOT one of them.  However, I am willing to try anything so I agreed to give All Saints a shot.  The first time we went, I was not particularly taken probably my cynicism overrode anything else that was happening.  However, when we went back for the second time, I looked in the bulletin and I found an announcement about Get On The Bus.  When I read it, I knew that even if we didn't continue to attend All Saints I had to be at the meeting. 
 
When I went to the meeting that day, I was greeted by the loving arms of Sr. Suzanne, who also looked like she was not at home in Beverly Hills.  She told stories about the people in prison that she had ministered to for the past 35 years.  Instead of pointing out mistakes, she talked about the people for who they were.  She poignantly gave everyone a sense of who the children of the incarcerated were and what struggles they faced trying to see their parents.  By the end of the presentation, there was not a dry eye in the room. 
 
I was so struck by what she had to say because at that time, my father was in prison.  This was a secret that I carried with me especially in the confines of this new Beverly Hills church.  When I told her my story, she embraced me and we exchanged numbers and the rest is history.  Suzanne continues to be there to embrace me as a friend, a mentor and a boss. 
 
Now, how does Carol fall into this?  She has been in a way a beacon for me.  Although we don't have daily personal interaction, Carol seems to be there for me at all the times when I most need her.  She knows Joe and I by name and when she asks us how we are, she truly wants to know the answer.  When things have been tough for me over the past few years with my family situation, Carol has constantly checked in with me and prayed for me.  Carol is responsible for a lot of things in our life, one of the many was selecting a church for us to get married in in Pittsburgh.   
 
For those of you who don't know, Carol was the first woman ever to be ordained in the Episcopal church.  She has had to crawl her way up the ladder and she has always stood at the face of adversity.  I think this is part of what makes Carol who she is.  She is an advocate for the poor, the weary, the friendless, the incarcerated and every other disinfranchised group you can think of.  Unlike most ministers, not only does she preach about these people, but she structures her church to be about ministry with these people.  Carol is constantly calling for people to get out of the pews and become one of Jesus's disciples.  I believe that her support of Get On The Bus has led me here for a reason.  Carol will be moving on and retiring from All Saints tomorrow, but her legacy will always stay with me.
 
I want to say thank you to these two great women for changing my life.  Without both of you, I would never be the Maria who I am today.  I would also like to take a minute to say thank you to my wonderful parents, the Homer family, Phillip, and Tommy and Erin for your kind donations!  I am overjoyed and gracious by the gifts of all of you to support this wonderful cause.
 
 
 
 
 
 

This is nothing short of a miracle!

Kristen, Jorge and Jorge, Jr.

Everyone once in a great while, I walk into my office and get a phone call that moves me beyond belief.  Today was one of those days.  In April of last year, I got a call from the Family Services Coordinator at Correctional Training Facility in Soledad, CA.  She told me that she had met a young lady named Kristen in the Visiting Room at CTF over the weekend and that I needed to let her and her son participate in GOTB for Father's Day.  I have to admit it is very rare that the prison would call me for a special plea for someone to participate, especially 4 months after the deadline.  As I listened to her appeal over the phone, I knew that we had to get Kristen and her little son Jorge on the bus.

Kristen's boyfriend had been held at the county jail for the past couple years, which is quite rare as they are normally bursting at the seams to get people shipped off to prison.  Her son grew up knowing his father, but the thing that struck the staff person was that he and Jorge, Sr. never touched.  Ever since he was born, he would stare at his father through a glass window.  His first smile, first word and first steps were all enjoyed through a physical barrier. 

When I got off the phone with the Family Services Coordinator, I put this into perspective.  What if for my whole life I only got to experience the essence of my father from a distance?  What if my cries could never be comforted by a hug or a pat on the back?  What if my pleas to hold his finger by pounding on the glass barrier that separated us were constantly ignored?  This is hard enough for anyone to wrap their head around, none-the-less, a 2 year old.

When I called Kristen, she was exactly how she was described.  She was a hard working student studying to be an esthetician during the day and by night was an incredible mother to her son.  She was so appreciative that I even called her.  When she picked up the phone, she was in disbelief and it took her a second to compose herself saying that she couldn't believe that I was actually calling her.  Then when I told her that she was going to get on the bus, I could feel her heart skip a beat with pure excitement. 

The next day we met at my office and I fell in love with Kristen even more.  She was just as beautiful on the outside, as on the inside.  She had a style to her that reminded me of my own sister.  We sat and talked for a long time about massage and facials and other important life essentials and then she filled out all of her GOTB paperwork.  In our conversation, she could not have been more appreciative of the experience that GOTB was about to give her.  Sobbing she said, "Maria, do you know that this will be the first time my boyfriend has held my son?"  I stood amazed.

As I explained the program further to her, I told her that every child gets a photo with their father and that every father will get a photo with his family.  Again, tears struck her eyes.  She said, "Maria, this will be the first and only photo we have ever taken together."  Again, I was speechless.

On Father's Day last year, Kristen and Jorge left very early in the morning to visit with Jorge, Sr.  It was an experience that Kristen and her son will never forget.  Afterwards, I rarely hear from the people that we serve, but Kristen is the exception to this rule.  She has called me every couple of months just to check in and see how I am doing.

Today, I received a joyous call from Kristen.  She said her boyfriend had been transferred to Salinas Valley State Prison, across the street from CTF.  She said that she has been so depressed because she knew that GOTB was only at a CTF and CMC last year.  She thought that her son would have to go one more year without seeing his father.  Then she just got a letter from her boyfriend in disbelief that GOTB is piloting its first year at SVSP.  She called to tell me that she was so grateful and believed that God was secretly looking out for her and her son.  I told her it was nothing short a a miracle because prior to Christmas we were going to have to cancel the SVSP event because only 3 people had applied. 

In a hasty decision, I decided one day before my plane left for the East Coast to get up at 3 am and take a drive up north to SVSP as one final plea to the men.  Exhausted from a party I threw the night before, Joe, Maya and I took off for a 6 hr drive up the 5 freeway.  I was running on pure adrenaline and no sleep as I arrived for my 9 am meeting.  Something carried me through and by the end of the day, I could feel that we would get the 25 applications we needed.  Right before Kristen had called, I just got off the phone with Mr. Miles Moore at the prison and he gave me the news I had been waiting for....we received 38 approved applications for the institution, GOTB was a go for SVSP!!  God was there with us.

Kristen said the GOTB experience was such a power experience that it changed her life and her outlook.  She has passed out several brochures and tells everyone she meets about the program.  She also wants to do everything she can to give back to us.  She called me this morning to say that she wants to become an official volunteer and she is starting Monday morning!  She is also trying to get her church involved and trying to drum up some donations.  She said that this is the least she could do with all the kindness and generosity she experienced through the program.  She said that she was treated with respect and dignity and the photo her son took home was worth a million dollars itself and it is adorning her wall.  Everyday she passes she is reminded of how this program changes people's lives.  This will be Kristen's last year as a participant of GOTB as Jorge, Sr. is set to be released in November. However, she will be forever connected with us and hopes to be a bus coordinator some day.

Again, I want to thank you all for your continued support and I know that I have a long way to go both in mileage and in donations.  Any support financial, emotional or moral is greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

Kristen, Jorge and Jorge, Jr. enjoying the magician.

Their first family photo ever!

Jorge, Sr. holding Jorge, Jr. for the first time.

Out with the old, in with the new

The new year is a time of celebration.  Most go drink their sorrows away or spend it with friends and family.  This year's new year's celebration for me was much like most of 2009: tiring, nothing special to note and a bit depressing.  I spent most of my day (20 hours) on a plane or in an airport.  When we finally landed at 11:45 pm and got our bags, we were just in time to celebrate new year's in the back of a smelly LA cab. 

Like most people I know, I was happy to see 2009 go away.  I am not going to lie, this has been a tough year.  Not only for me and my family, but it seems that everyone around me has had a personal story of hardship in the year 2009.  In the last couple of days, I couldn't help but notice how many people have posted something on facebook wishing that 2009 go far away and never come back.

So enough negativity, you are reading this to be inspired right?  That's what I thought.  It is time to move on and time to make positive change.  That is why my running partner Leanne and I today got a "head start" on making 2010 a great year...We ran 10 miles for 2010.  The combination of my jet lag and Leanne's sore muscles from lifting yesterday made us quite a dynamic duo today.  However, we pushed through our pain and we made it. 

After a great suggestion from my friend David Rigo, I have decided to include some photos to document my journey.  Hope you enjoy and a happy and healthy 2010 to everyone!!  I also want to thank Nabil Riaz or Nabilini Riazi as he is known in the blog for his donation and support!! 

Me at the start line in the Santa Monica Pier

Leanne and I getting ready for our run

Start of our course, view to the north.

First mile, down Santa Monica Pier.

I never leave home without my G2.

Leanne and I hard at work.

Along the course.

Everyone was training for the marathon!

Action shot!

Halfway at Temascal Canyon Blvd.

The pier is in sight, yeah!!

1 mile left...We thought this street sign would never come!

10 miles for 2010 baby!

Every run ends with a good stretching session.