My Long Lost Friends...

You know the feeling you get when you reconnect with someone after a long time?  The moment you begin to spot them, your heart starts to race as you debate whether or not you are actually seeing the person you think you are?  You struggle to think in your mind when was the last time you saw them and what you did?  You remember what they used to look like and you compare what they look like now.  If they look good, you think, "Wow, they haven't changed at all!"  However, if they look differently you think, "What happened?"  However, in the back of your mind, you think, "I wonder if I look different too?"  Then you try to reassure yourself that you look better even if that may not be the case.

When you finally confirm that it is them and now you have to think about what to say? Do you use the traditional anticlimactic line, "Wow, it's been a while.  How have you been?"  Or do you try to spice it up by using a past reference and/or an inside joke?  You finally decide your approach and you now need to wait to see how it is going to be received.  You get over the awkward silence and catch up on however long it has been.  You have the best of intentions as you leave to keep in better touch.  But, really will you?  Only time will tell.  In order to keep up with someone who you have been distant with for a while, it requires extra effort and you need to realize if it is all really worth it.  Do you like where your life is right now or would involving this person make it more (insert adjective)?

So although I have been in this situation a ton of times, I ventured into a similar circumstance the other day while cleaning out my closet.  As I started to get to the back on the closet, I saw a silhouette of a familiar shape.  As I got closer, I began to uncover a pair of laces and saw the colors of blue and back and smelled that familiar new smell.  I thought, "Could it be?"  As I went back to grab this object, I confirmed what I thought, "My new running shoes."  

Now before I left LA, I took these babies for a stroll only once.  As you may recall, I was battling some feet issues so I was forced to go on a running hiatus for a bit.  I had intended to take the shoes on my cross country trip, but at the last minute, there wasn't enough room and they went on the moving truck.  The rest, is well, history.  I had no idea until about a month ago that they even made it.  However, when I found them, I must have quickly relocated them to the back of my closet as I wasn't ready yet to make a daily commitment to them.  When I saw them this time around, I was really excited and felt ready to make them part of my life. However, I am not sure if the feeling was mutual.  They seemed to not recognize me and looked perfectly content socializing with the other shoes.  As I pulled them out and took them for a stroll last week, they quickly remembered how fun it is to get out.

They have become so popular now that they are sitting right by the door every day waiting for me to lace them up.  Today was a particularly special time in our relationship because as we were running today, we did 4 miles in well under 40 minutes (at a 9:40 pace), which is a tremendous improvement for me.  Will this relationship be a lasting one?  Only time will tell.  However, if they keep helping me to get a 9:40 pace, I guarantee that we will be spending a lot more time together. 

2011- The Year of Simplicity

From my last post, you all can tell that I am a little behind on the whole New Year's Resolution idea.  However, the good news is that since I started so late, I'm still able to stay true to this idea of personal change and transformation.  However, unlike many who are adding things to their list, I have decided to make this year the year to subtract.

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I am always working on some sort of project (more likely probably juggling between 10 at once).  It is the nature of my character.  I always have to be active and busy, which is great for the mind, but not so great for the spirit.  I, like many of you, run from one job to the next, one project to the next, one volunteer opportunity to another (well, you get the point).  I spend so much of my time running that my own life becomes hard to catch.

On a recent visit to NYC, my parents and I visited a large Italian Mecca called "Eataly" on 5th Ave in the 20's.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, it is a NY block filled with everything that you could ever want that  is Italian.  Now the food is amazing and impressive, but for me it is the motto that really captured my eye- "It's difficult to be so simple."

Eataly has it right, it really is difficult to be simple.  When you require a more simplified existence, it causes you to have to make choices.  You can't have everything.  You can't do everything.  You can't be everyone's friend.  You can't solve everyone's problems.  Just the thought of these statements causes me to want to counter my own point.  The pre-resolution Maria is trying to say, "Anything is possible."

Although she may have a point, anything might be possible.  However, it is possible at some cost.  Normally the way that I cost it out is through being unfair to myself, my husband and my own health.  Reflecting back on the previous year, there were many times that I felt very sick but just wouldn't go to the doctor because I was too busy at work.  There were also many times that I lost sleep helping people who I thought valued me in the same way I did them only to find out the hard way- this wasn't the case.  There were many times where I took on way too much but wouldn't own up to it so as to not hurt others feelings.

Now I am not regretful of the way that I was.  That part of me served its purpose and many benefited from it.  However, I know that change is imminent.  Now don't worry, new Maria isn't going to transform into a curmudgeony hermit or anything.  I will still be a good person, friend and coworker.  However, I am now just changing by being a little bit more guarded in my approach.  My simplification model is just that- very simple.

I plan to focus on the body, mind and spirit.  For my body, I have joined a gym and have made water my beverage of choice.  I am continuing to make healthy eating decisions and am being more in tune to taking care of myself.  For the mind, I am purposely scheduling a couple minutes a day of nothingness, which may sound very appealing to some, but for me, it is very hard.  However, during this time, I just am.  I am learning to sit and be with myself and breathe.  For my spirit, I have decided to engage only with people and relationships that are enriching and make me feel good.  I have learned that last year I spent too much of my energy on superficial relationships and pushed some of my true friends and family (who are always there no matter what, which is what I love must about you) to the side.  No more.  I know now that everyone deserves an opportunity to feel enriched by the lives of others around them and by everyone, I am finally including me in this picture.

In essence, I truly believe that less is going to be so much more.  It is a process in the making, but I am enjoying it so far.  Why don't you join?

Speaking of enriching the soul, there are two people who I would like to acknowledge today.  First, many congratulations to my dear friend and former colleague Gigi Breland.  Today is her two year anniversary out of prison.  She also has just secured her first fulltime job with benefits at an organization called All of Us or None.  Gigi- I continued to be amazed by who you are and all the potential you continue to unravel.  Congrats, my love.  Finally to a person who I can honestly say has made probably the most impact on my life- my Grandma!  Grandma, I just want to wish you a very Happy 89th Birthday!  You are such a light in my life and many others.  Thank you for being exactly who you are.  I am so blessed that you are my Gram!!  Love you!!! :)

The worst day of the year, becomes my day to commit?...

So this past Sunday was supposedly coined in the paper, "The Worst Day of the Year."  Why might you ask?  Scientists and mathematicians have joined forces to calculate the average time people carry out their New Year's Resolutions and Sunday was the day that they expired.  When I heard this at a party, I thought, "Wow, today would be a great day to start a resolution cause at least you could defy the odds of having broken it."

So that's what I'm doing.  Although I don't feel ready to reveal my resolutions quite yet (as that would make them too real to me and I haven't really thought through some of them yet), I also work best with accomplishing radical goals gradually.  However, I can say with confidence, get ready for some more running posts.  I have no idea what this means yet.  Truly, you sit here as informed as I so don't go assuming I'm signing up for any ultras or marathons anytime soon.  However, I do know that my current sedentary state isn't working for me.

What else can you get ready for?  Who knows?  The good news for you is I have many things that I can improve upon, the bad news is that I am having a hard time choosing.  Feel free to leave me some suggestions.  Looks like Lance the dog is the first as he is pushing my arm while I'm typing.  Maybe he wants less work and more play?  Will he get his wish?  Only time will tell.  Make it a great day. :)

Tune in Tonight (6 pm PST, 9 pm EST) to Heart to Heart...

Tonight on Heart to Heart, we will have 3 women who are working to open the blocked passage ways for children of parents who have been deported, incarcerated or separated by other means, to leave their babies behind.  Not by choice, but by mandate. We need to know what happens to these children and who cares enough to protect the children and reunite families.  This is where we introduce  Yali, Kristen and Cecelia:

Kristen Jackson, Staff Attorney

Immigrants Rights Project of Los Angeles , Public Counsel

Lecturer in Law, UCLA Law faculty

kjackson@publiccounsel.com

Kristen Jackson is a Staff Attorney in the Immigrants Rights Project of Los Angeles-based Public Counsel. She represents abused, abandoned or neglected children eligible for Special Immigrant Juvenile Status (SIJS) in the delinquency, dependency, and probate systems both before the immigration service and in immigration court. She also provides SIJS trainings and SIJS technical assistance across the country. Before joining Public Counsel, Kristen clerked on the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. She received her J.D. from Yale Law School , where she was a student director of the Advocacy for Parents and Children Clinic and the Notes Editor for The Yale Law Review. She also co-teaches the Immigration Clinic for UCLA Law School .

Yali Lincroft, MBA, Program and Policy Consultant

yali@childpublicpolicy.com

Yali Lincroft is a program and policy consultant based in San Francisco , California . Her current clients include the Annie E. Casey Foundation, the American Humane Association, and First Focus, a Washington-DC based childrens advocacy organization. She has written many policy reports on child welfare, including the Annie E. Casey Foundation publications, Undercounted, Underserved: Immigrants in the Child Welfare System and After the Earthquake: A Bulletin for Child Welfare Organizations Assisting Haitians in the United States . She is the founding member of the Migration and Child Welfare National Network housed at the American Humane Association. Since 2006, she has served as the Annie E. Casey Foundations primary consultant on children of incarcerated parentsissues and has worked with the San Francisco Children of Incarcerated Parents Initiative, the New York Initiative for Children of Incarcerated Parents, and the newly formed Alameda County Initiative for Children of Incarcerated Parents.

Cecilia Saco, MSW, is a Supervising Children’s Social Worker with Los Angeles County Dept. of Children and Family Services (DCFS). She supervises a countywide specialized unit dedicated to the filing of Special Immigrant Juvenile Status (SIJS) on behalf of qualifying undocumented immigrant children. Cecilia co-chairs the Southern California International Services Committee and is a member of the Migration and Child Welfare National Network.

Shirley and Maria welcomes you to Heart to Heart. Our guests this Sunday are Yali Lincroft, MBA, Program and Policy Consultant, Kristen Jackson who is a Staff Attorney in the Immigrants Rights Project of Los Angeles-based Public Counsel, and Cecilia Saco, MSW, is a Supervising Children’s Social Worker with Los Angeles County Dept. of Children and Family Services (DCFS).We will talk about the good news surrounding children of incarcerated or exiled parents. If you’ve ever wondered what happens to these children, join us Sunday at 6PM PST 9 PM EST.

We are now on a new station!  Here's how you can tune in and participate in the show:

To listen, people must go to http://www.blogtalkradio.com/scalesofjustice. You can listen live on Sunday evenings or to the archives anytime.

To call into the show for questions or comments while the show is live, listeners must dial 1-347-637-3070. For listeners who have skype, we will announce what they should do to call in while we are on the air.

To better understand the human rights of immigrants who lose families when deported, check these links in English/Spanish

.

http://www.appleseednetwork.org/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=55rzHXrlFrk%3D&tabid=157

http://www.firrp.org/publications.html

http://www.detentionwatchnetwork.org/sosineedhelp

http://www.firstfocus.net/sites/default/files/r.2010-4.7.cervantes.pdf

http://womensrefugeecommission.org/programs/detention/parental-rights
Peace & Blessings…

My Inspiration of the Week..

This week was an interesting one for me because along with the 11 jobs and side projects I was doing, I also got a chance to have my parents visit me in NJ.  As always our visit was filled with food, conversation, fun but most of all love of the family.  Although we aren't perfect, which we are the first to say, I have come to accept and love my family for who exactly they are and the great gifts that they have given me. 

As they left on Wednesday, I spent some time reflecting about how thankful I was for them travelling up to see me and also how amazed I was that I was able to fit in everything we did in that short amount of time.  I have seen my family go through things that most families would not have been able to handle.  However, they did it with grace and it really has brought all of us much closer.

Through my reflecting, two really fabulous things came to my awareness that I wanted to share with everyone.  The first was a poem by Maya Angelou, the great poet of whom my dog shares a namesake.  The poem is called "And Still I Rise":

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

The second was a lovely story about a homeless man in Ohio who the media is calling "The Golden Voice."  He was a panhandler on the side of the road and for many years, he struggled with addiction.  However, he always had a dream of being able to make it and looks as if he finally did.  Both of these things really warmed my heart and I am hoping it will give you something to reflect upon in this new year. 

Remember when you are feeling down and discouraged, you will rise above and do something great!  I believe in all of you and am happy that you are a part of my blog.